I posted this on my personal facebook page a few months ago, but it’s worth sharing again.
“We could all do better not to let jealousy, subjective comparisons, and perceptions of others “perfect lives” and happiness ruin our own dreams. Besides, if people really ARE happy, well.. isn’t that the goal? Couldn’t we stand to feel happy for them and not turn into grouches and insist they must be faking it?
The point is: another person’s success and joy doesn’t take ANYTHING away from you… And we’re all human. Just because someone isn’t blasting the internet with their personal struggles doesn’t mean they don’t have any. Act with love, not fear.”
Let us strive not to feel threatened when others do well in the form of a new job, a new creative project coming to fruition, they get recognized for work, they find a happy relationship, and so on.
Bright Colors make me happy. Photo by ADG Photography
When we aren’t happy with aspects of our own lives, it can be an impulse to look at someone’s happiness and begin to pick it apart to make ourselves feel better. WHY do rational, friendly people do this?
Here’s the thing: the world thrives, we thrive, when we make connections and share in our talents and visions. There is not, and there never will be (thank goodness!) only one of the best of everything: the best musician, the best writer, the best designer. Someone else excelling in a field that you work in doesn’t mean you should stop doing your work, or that it’s any less valid.
The internet is such a wacky thing. It allows us to literally edit our lives. Sites like Facebook let you decide what to make public or private, what photos to share (the most flattering, of course!), and in the midst of all that sharing we can also leave out the hard times, the times we struggle, the bad days, the I’m-calling-in-sick-and-staying-on-the-couch-all-afternoon moments.
Most of us have had financial struggles, worked jobs we weren’t proud of (maybe even embarrassed of), been through at least one really horrible breakup, worked through self-esteem troubles, etc. Yet we compare and compare and compare and forget the truth: at the end of the day, we are all flawed, we are all imperfect, we all have ghosts in our closet or regrets that became lessons.
Watermelons and summer dresses make me happy. Photo by ADG Photography
Everyone, all of us, deserve happiness. No. Matter. What.
The sooner we can remember that, the easier it will be to focus on having it for ourselves.