You are worthy
you are worth it.
We lose our keys, the other sock, our favorite earring, sometimes our minds. It has not been an easy road, this past year, but today with everything I have in me I can say: I am here. I am alive. I’m going to make something of all of this.
Bold hearts are placed inside some of us to filter the world through them. To create, to connect. Maybe we need to get down to nothing to find clarity, to see that the foundation we stand on is, somehow (defying the laws of physics), actually ourselves. We have been here all along.
“leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks
even on the house he’s never
visited. you lucky, lucky girl.
you have an apartment
just your size. a bathtub
full of tea. a heart the size
of Arizona, but not nearly
so arid. don’t wish away
your cracked past, your
crooked toes, your problems
are papier-mâché puppets
you made or bought because the vendor
at the market was so compelling you just
had to have them. you had to have him.
and you did. and now you pull down
the bridge between your houses.
you make him call before
he visits. you take a lover
for granted, you take
a lover who looks at you
like maybe you are magic. make
the first bottle you consume
in this place a relic. place it
on whatever altar you fashion
with a knife and five cranberries.
don’t lose too much weight.
stupid girls are always trying
to disappear as revenge. and you
are not stupid. you loved a man
with more hands than a parade
of beggars, and here you stand. heart
like a four-poster bed. heart like a canvas.
heart leaking something so strong
they can smell it in the street.”
—’Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell’
by Marty McConnell
Friends, allow to me give a heartfelt apology for the lack of new updates. “Life intervened” sounds like an excuse, but without getting into melodramatic detail, there has been a LOT going on – a few wacky moments, a lot of beautiful wonderful moments.
I’m having the incredible experiences (I almost want to say “luck”, but really, it has a lot less to do with luck and a lot more to do with seeking and finding) of meeting so many people in the past two weeks, folks who are working so hard to engage their passions and who are so EXCITED about the wonderful transformation of positivity in the Lehigh Valley. Everywhere I go, someone is starting a project, opening a business, and/or encouraging others to do the same. It’s an incredible time to be in the midst of everything.
Unfortunately, this blog has taken a backseat while I sift through my brain on how to organize all of the excitment. BUT – lots of great stuff is on the way. I’m finally figuring out the new video camera, I have a guest blogger coming in next week with really fresh, smart and insightful views on body image and body issues (she is amazing, I cannot wait!), and of course recipes, nutrition tips, book reviews, art stuff… and on and on.
Until then, I’ve been so inspired by aforementioned inspirational people and situations, I want to share with you some of the thoughts I’ve been focusing on as of late.
Take this for a spin:
A successful screenwriter being interviewed was asked for his secret to success. The screenwriter nodded and replied, “I find if I actually sit down to write a screenplay, I stand a better chance of selling it.”
If you are or want to be something, how often do you practice it? Be honest with yourself. Then decide if a) it’s not that important after all since you never seem to make time for it, or b) it’s super important – in which case, prioritize. If you have time to text your friends all day, check facebook obsessively, and watch 3 hours of reality TV – you can surely find a way to shift that around and, you know, make time for your dreams.
On a similar note, I recently heard a professor speak, in which he referenced a phrase commonly uttered by jazz musicians in the 1950′s:
If you make a mistake, play it again so they think you meant it.
There is no one – NO ONE – else who can dictate what your life “should” be except for you. Not a parent, spouse, coworker or boss. And because life is life, after all, you are going to mess up. Accept that fact, then get over it. Obviously, you try to make as little as possible, but all mistakes are a learning experience if you allow them to be. Often times, these moments of regret, weakness or simply wishing for a do-over can become the most significant moments of change. It doesn’t always have to be a “mistake”. It can simply be the time where you are trying to adjust to always constant and inevitable change.
(“Make Time” print, $15 from Daisy Janie)