After months of encouraging conversations with bloggers, nutritionists, cooks, and absolutely FRIENDS, I finally made the step I’ve wanted to take for a long time. It’s a big ol’ scary step. It’s the kind that holds you accountable for everything. It’s also, ultimately, the most rewarding.
I notified my employers that I will not longer work full-time there. I’m turning Save the Kales! into a legal business (with accountants and LLC papers and all kinds of crazy things that are still very new to me!).
This past Saturday, I was having brunch with Alison and Ryan – an amazing buffet of tofu scramble, grapefruit and orange mimosas, roasted root vegetables, coffee – and they held an intervention of sorts. They were on a mission to kick the last little bit of self-doubt out of me to convince me that I really could do this.
And in my heart I know I can. But here’s the safety net (positive thoughts! positive thoughts!), just in case I need one: If things don’t go exactly as planned, I will still get to wake up every day and do exactly what I love. Paying bills is important, running a successful business is the goal, but being able to LOVE what I do EVERY DAY is better than all of that.
”There are things you do because they feel right and they make no sense and they may make no money and it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other and to eat each other’s cooking and say it was good.” Brian Andreas
I am not blind the to fact that aside from all the hard work I’ve put in, there is an element of luck. Though, Roman philosopher Seneca said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”. Maybe he’s right.
Multiple times a day, I reflect on the pure gratefulness I have to be surrounded by supportive people (people who having lovingly said “I might actually be mad at you if you don’t do this”), gratefulness for a community that has been so receptive to what I’m doing and thus to me. I am in a place in my life where I can take a chance like this and rest assured that even if it’s a little rocky to start (Alison would interrupt me here and say “IT WON’T BE!”) I will still be able to take care of my responsibilities andbe okay. None of this is lost on me for a single second.
Save the Kales! began as a blog project. It cost no money (and began at a time when I was in a bad financial situation). While I have degrees, they are not in cooking. I barely knew anyone in this community and was literally making a plan to move across the country, but when I decided to stay I went out and met the people here, opening me up to a world of entrepreneurs, artists, and friends.
My point is this: I had spent my whole life previously waiting for “permission”– when I graduate, when someone hires me, when I have more money, when I get healthier, when when when when when… And it turns out, the thing I love, the thing becoming my career didn’t need ANY of it.
YOU DON’T NEED ANYONES PERMISSION. Begin a project. Be okay with the fact that some people will be critical of you. That you may not make any money. That it’s going to take up a lot of your free time, especially if you have another job to pay your bills. All the time you spend feeling bad about where you are, comparing yourself to “successful” people and making lists of reasons why you can’t have it – just stop. Go and DO IT instead.
This is all still so new to me, I get nervous, I worry, I start to think of the things that can go wrong or if someone criticizes it or —– and then I have to stop, and breathe, and take solace in knowing that I’m making the right decision. What got me here was when I finally stopped worrying and blaming, and replaced it with believing in myself enough.