Numerology: Age is Just a Number

A friend recently confessed to me that she is beginning to feel anxiety about the turn of her next birthday. I’m sure this is something many people can relate to, or at the very least, we have that one relative that wears out the (terrible) joke that she’s “Turning 29… again!” My friend admitted to feeling anxious, lost in a job that’s not ideal, a lack of creative fulfillment and a general feeling of What Am I Doing With My Life.

But here’s the twist: She’s only turning 25.

I tried to help her as much as possible – I never felt weird about turning 25, and on the contrary, I’ve heard only wonderful things about how wonderful 30+ is. However, my twenties have been a rollercoaster to say the least, and I’m really only halfway through them.

I remember when I graduated from college (the first time, ha!) and felt a deep, deadening pressure because suddenly I was supposed to: support myself, find a “good job”, maybe get married (all of my friends were!), and try to be AN ADULT while having no money, unfortunate roommate situations and mediocre self-esteem, at best.

While I was 25 I hit a plateau – In school, but working a dead-end job that sucked all the life and creativity out of me, a devastating failed relationship, concern about my worth as a person capable of making anything of myself. (Why do we seek out articles and information about people in our age group who SKY ROCKET to the top of their industry, then compare ourselves to them? Why do we tell ourselves that being anything less than THE BEST WRITER/ARTIST/MUSICIAN/BLAH BLAH BLAH makes us and our work inconsequential?)

26 – year of change. Everything. All of it. It has been needed for a long time.

And now… still 26, later though, and the future shines more bright than ever. Personal interests and passions have paved paths to career opportunities that I feel like I’d been grasping at for years. All of sudden, it felt like someone placed them kindly on my lap. “Here, Jaime, you’d be good at this.” All the hours/days/weeks agonizing because my resumes weren’t getting responses. And now look? Things fall into place. Somehow. That is what I’ve learned.

When I look onto my next milestone birthday – 30 – I don’t look at it like a fearful end to my youth. Rather, for the first time in my life it is merely a mile marker to keep me on track for what I’d have like to accomplished by then. (This coming from someone that NEVER set goals because I felt like I would end up disappointed!)

It’s not about beating yourself up if you don’t meet your goals, it’s about recognizing that cultivating greatness is a process and the end result can be a few years off, something to look forward to rather than dread. But there is room to leave things unknown, and it’s essential we do, since we don’t actually know what’s going to happen.

I have more than 3 more years until 30. I’d like to write a book. Start a business. Maybe be a mom. Give myself time to c a l m   d o w n and explore what I want, need and feel, to make adjustments both in lifestyle and mental clarity to process new beginnings and weird endings (that will happen, constantly, every day!) as they come.

Birthdays can be treated like most days – like every day – and used as a chance for a fresh start, and a moment to reflect on how far we’ve already come. Wanting more for ourselves and our lives does NOT mean all we’ve done ’til now is a failure.. And that old cliche is true, as much as we’d like to cringe or roll our eyes: all of our experiences have lead us to RIGHT NOW. Let’s be thankful for them, and use them as tools for growth.

We still have so many more chances.

7 thoughts on “Numerology: Age is Just a Number

  1. Just turned 40 this year – and I am loving every minute of it. My 20’s were great. My 30’s a little turbulent. It took me that long to really figure out who I was. Know that I almost have it figured out – I am more at ease with my life. Don’t let the age thing stress you out. It is truly a mental thing!

    • Thank you Kelly! I think I was a lot more stressed out about my age when I was younger. Now I’m just like “What the heck, I’ll just say ‘yes’ to every opportunity and care less about what others think and more about what I love” and it’s really working for me 🙂 Mental, indeed.

  2. I have just turned 60 and as I said many times I do NOT mind MY age I do mind how old you girls are getting! You are all approaching that magic 30. That and my arthritis make me realize that I am sixty but in my heart I am just a kid! Yes I know I act like one too. age is just a number ~ your mentality rules who you are. Love ya Mommy K

    • I have just turned 60 but I feel older because of my knee pain but other wise I am a young 60. I am told that I look 45 and that is a good thing. So until the day comes that I am told that I look like my age I will dye my hair. LOL The other day a young boy of 12 told me that I looked 42 but when I got up to walk he said, “but you walk like an old lady.” Lately wonderful things have been going on in my life. I am a published author and I was in the paper for the third time since I moved to Illinois from New Orleans when I escaped the hurricane but lost it all. I live in a village where I was born. I will be speaking at the same school that I went to and started writing at the young age of 7. A teacher and principal encouraged me to go forward and reach my dreams. I wonder if I am good enough, pretty enough or talented enough to take my books into this world further by promoting them. I might be doing a book signing at a local huge well known book store in the near future. It is all exciting and over whelming. But at the same time I have insecurities. I am working on them however. As I go forward and make the final touches to my l latest soon to be released book I can[‘t help reflecting on why it was that I waited so many years to follow my dreams. That is an question to myself that I feel deserves an answer. Here it is… I realize that for years I was busy being a care giver to everyone that I could find it was like a mission to me. They needed help and my love and I was there no questions asked. except their names of course. So here I am my daughter and grandchildren are growing up two are at the wonderful, dreaded teenage. I say that because to the parents it is the beginning of losing our babies and at the same time it is relief and hope that you did your job completely by teaching what they need to go into this world and live a happy full life in whatever they choose. I am a bit over protective and fearful of the changes for the worse that goes on in this world. the stress and fear of what will happen next. I simply hope that I have not impacted them with the uncertainty and strangely enough they can’t wait to get out there and away from the apron strings the two are boys, Now we have the 10 year old girl, She is a bit cautious and that is good she is not fearful in the outside she wants to be free. I sure hope that I didn’t keep them as a gagged animal not wanting them to play outside in fear that they would be kidnapped by some random bad person. Did I do harm? Well I am the grandmother and my only child would answer in a phrase such as ” I had a good, loving childhood” But, I know she resents me divorcing her father, and making her feel insecure at the age of 7, but we stuck together and weathered every storm that life threw at us. I want to believe I was a good mother.I always wanted to be the mother I didn’t totally feel that I had, But the strange thing about this is that I had total freedom and because of that I felt as if my parents didn’t care what happened to me. My friend parents were strict and had guide lines I had very few. They would say that my parents need to watch me more closely. Because I took chances that could have caused my early demise. But thank God for watching over me. By being overly protective I was showing them my love in my way. OH MY! I just realized that fact as I wrote it. Time marches on and as they become adults my life becomes less not of who I am but what I have to look forward to. I will not sit back and just worry my life away I refuse to look at me standing on top of the hill holding a object that will keep me from falling over the hill. Until it is my time and only then will I let go. I wish everyone who reads this joy and happiest at any age.

  3. Perfect timing for me to be reading this. In 3 days, I’m turning 29 (for the 1st time… haha). Usually, I rejoice in my birthday. Presents, attention, plenty of smiles from people who appreciate you being a part of their life. However, I had a very unsuccessful year and can’t help this feeling of wanting to ignore the day. So it’s great to read this and remind myself that as long as we try our best in the *present,* that’s all we can ask of ourselves. And be thankful we have another day to do that. Besides, if we all reached the pinnacle of life by age 30, what would we do with the rest of our lives?

    • I think if we are feeling stuck and stagnant, the most important thing is to start doing SOMETHING. Anything. It’s doesn’t have to be the most wonderful thing in the world. But at the end of a day we can say “Hmm, yes, I did that!” and feel better. And days become weeks and then months and by then something more is surely to come of it.

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